the sweetness at the bottom of the pie

My first time to attend a mass in the US of A. As in from the very beginning till the end. And the feeling is just too new yet very familiar. Hindi nakakailang kasi 99% ng attendees ay Noypi. Lima lang yata ang foreigners na nakita ko. Am I really in the States? Bakit parang nasa Baclaran lang ako? Ibang klase talaga ang Pinoy population dito sa Valley. Nagkalat to the max. Very strong ang ating presence - from the priest to the choir people to the offertory teens to the almost 250 church-goers. It's refreshing to see na maraming mag-anak ang naroroon, parents bringing their children. Maski grown-up kids were there, side-by-side with their moms and dads. And to think that most of these kids were born and raised here. Kaya I salute those parents na pinalaki ang mga anak in the old traditional Filipino ways. Instead of being in the mall or at home watching TV, they are together in the church. Isn't that something? 

After the mass, we went to Max's for that good ol' salo-salo. Habang kumakain ng kare-kare at liempo, it dawned on me that I am so blessed. I'm living the best of both worlds. I'm here in a foreign land pero it feels like home. I see so many different kinds of people, drop dead gorgeous people in my midst, pero I'm also in constant interaction with my own brown people. Never akong nakaramdam ng homesickness, never felt discriminated, never felt isolated here in the Valley. How many OFW can ever say that? 

~~~

Earlier in the day, I went to Target to buy a polo. I ended up buying a vest. It's so winter na. I'm still looking for that perfect scarf to complete the look of the season. The cold weather brings fashion in people. I even complimented Dr. Barbarella one time for his very chic winter get-up. "Doc, you look like a Versace model!" And I saw him blushed. Walang ka-effort effort ang kanyang clean, crisp suit and scarf. It's so natural to them, white people, to dress like movie stars. Kainis.

And to start my winter look, I was so tempted to buy this kanina:

But the saner me prevailed. Instead, I purchased the season 1 vol. 1 of GLEE soundtrack. 17 hot songs, but my faves are: Taking Chances, Somebody to Love, Bust Your Windows, Defying Gravity. It's a must-have for all GLEE fanatics like me. Gusto ko rin sanang bilhin ang vol. 2 pero the repertoire is so-so. Two songs lang ang gusto ko: My Life Would Suck Without You and Smile. The rest is a blah. But who knows baka bilhin ko din ang vol 2 pag nangati ako next week. In the meantime, this CD will be my car companion in the coming days.

And the winner for the best grocery bag is....

Island Pacific (very patriotic)

Seafood City (walang ka-effort-effort)

wish ko lang

Kris Aquino finally got her custom-made pink bus...

Whereas, Tessa Prieto-Valdes received a wonderful painting from Jose Ibay.

For me, all I want for Christmas is...

Kaya ko na bang magbasa ng libro using Kindle? Eye luv it! 

palaban

Pinaghihilom ko pa ang mga sugat nung nakaraang duty. I guess I'm feeling better now. May mga tao talagang ang mission sa buhay ay inisin ka. At dun sila magaling. Minsan ang tanging solusyon ay matter-of-fact na pagtataray. Kasi kung hindi, paulit-ulit na lang nilang gagawin.

Kagaya nung isang linggo. Itong si Uxu, everytime na nakikita ako, lagi aking sinusuntok sa braso. Malakas pa naman kung makahataw. Mayayanig ka talaga. Hindi naman kami close kaya ewan ko ba kung bakit niya ginagawa yun. At ang mas nakakairita, may mga pasaring pa siya on the side. Hindi naman kami magka-department. So what in the world is wrong with him? Anong karapatan niya?! Kaya pagkasuntok niya sa braso ko, binulyawan ko nga:

You know what, this is the last time Im gonna let u punch me. Cuz next time, Im gonna report u to HR! I have a fracture on my arm and u always punch me! This is physical harassment!!!

Habang dinideliver ko yun, fiery expression talaga. Kulang na lang ay umusok ang ilong, mamula ang mata at lumitaw ang pangil ko sa galit. Kakaimbierna, e!

Hayun, biglang namuti ang mukha niya. Para siyang ibinilad sa suka for 2 days. After a couple of minutes, bigla siyang lumapit sa akin at nag-apologize. Nagbibiro lang daw siya. Haller! Gawin ba akong punching bag? At bakit kailangan niya akong biruin sa ganung paraan? Hindi humupa ang galit ko. I gave him a warning. 

This is the last time. I will report u if u do that again! Remember that!

Natauhan ang loko. Puts him in his place. I wont tolerate that kind of behavior again. Ever.

I had a good group last time. Kaso may isa roon na sobrang pasaway. Itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Sleeping Beauty. Hindi na nga marunong mag-thank you, napaka-defiant pa. Maganda naman siya, may jowa, magaling umingles. Kung tutuusin, marami siyang dapat ipagpasalamat sa Diyos. Kaso she's too blind to see. She is so full of herself. And she's acting like a princess in a faraway castle. Hobby niya ang mang-torture ng mga nakapaligid sa kanya. Lalo na sa mga bartender na gaya ko. Even her family has the same diva attitude. 

I was in her suite, to deliver her tequila. Bigla ba namang nagmaganda.

Ouch, you're twisting my arm!

I'm just helping u. I will give ur tequila now.

Can u open that freakin' light?

I can see in the dark!

Can u hurry up!

What do u think I'm doing?

Minsan, kailangan mo talagang suplahin ang mga taong nag-aattitude. I'm not a maid noh, much less a puppy. Kala mo kung sino mag-utos. 

In my 5 years in Venus, I think I toughened up enough. Or more correctly, I became assertive enough to express myself clearly. Alam ko na ang rights ko. I know when to take blows -- and give some when necessary. Kasi kung hindi, baka wala na akong ego. Baka wala na akong identity. Kaya kapag tinatanong ako sarcastically ng ibang customer kung ilang taon na akong nagba-bartender, I give them a straight-faced answer: I've been doing this for years. 

And in my observation, kung sino pa ang mal-edukado, kung sino pa ang yagit, kung sino pa ang panget, kadalasan ay sila pa ang sobrang mag-maltrato ng kapwa nila. Pero hindi ko naman nilalahat.  

I'm peace-loving and generally quiet. Pero kapag inapakan na ang paa ko, talagang sumisigaw ako in protest. Pwede ba!

deja vu

I just saw the 2009 F&H ads featuring Sam Milby.

The rich colors, the animal placement, the air of menace concept... sooo Dolce & Gabbana! 

Next!

o, kay tulin ng araw!

The only Christmas symbol at home. And the only post today. 

Kainis, Im working all the holidays. *sigh 

mango

Nagising na lang ako na naglalaway. Daig ko pa ang buntis na pusa na may sobrang craving sa daga. In my case, gustong-gusto ko ng arroz caldo. I'd trade anything in the world just to have that hot lugaw in my mouth, lalo pa't napakalamig ng panahon at tumatagos sa buto. 

Naligo ako at nag-drive papuntang Red Ribbon. Yes, arroz caldo for lunch! Yummy. Para akong Survivor castaway na nanalo sa reward challenge when the hot porridge touched my silver tongue. After 30mins, na-satisfy ang gutom ko. Naglakad-lakad muna ako sa grocery. Doon tumambad sa akin ang mga hilaw na mangga. Minsan lang akong makakita ng hilaw na mangga dito sa Tate - at kadalasan ay hinog pa. Green ang balat pero yellow ang loob. In short, peke. Pinisil-pisil ko ang mangga. Matigas in all sides. Positive na hilaw nga siya. Gosh, matagal na akong nangangasim sa hilaw na mangga. Kelan ko ba huling natikman ang bagoong sa ref? 2 years ago na yata. Hmmm I will die if I don't buy this mangga.

Dadamputin ko na sana ang prutas nang makita ko ang presyo. Green mangoes from Puerto Rico = $3.56 per Lb. Tinimbang ko ang isang mangga. Eksaktong 1 Lb. Napakamahal naman, iisang mangga lang tapos ganun ang presyo! It's overrated ha.

Tiningnan ko ang kabilang stand. Meron ding mangga na 87 cents ang bawat isa. Green sa labas pero pag hinawakan mo, alam mong hinog ang loob nito. Mura nga, hinog naman. 

I had this dilemma tuloy: hilaw na mangga for $3.56 each vs. hinog na mangga for 87 cents.

Ano ba ang kaibahan? 

Sasaya ba ako kung hilaw ang binili ko? Matutuwa ba ako kung nakamura pero hinog naman? Ano ba ang sukatan ng kaligayahan - asim o tamis?

Is it really fair to even compare the two, considering the economic recession and global crisis right now? Ano ba ang mahalaga sa akin, mindless of all the extraneous variables? 

Who will define happiness, craving and satisfaction for me?

Kinagabihan sa Bahay ni Kuya...

Binalatan ko na ang crispy, crunchy green mango. 

with matching bagoong...

And the first bite was simply divine. Hindi ako nagkamali ng choice. Lovett!

November: Picks of the Month

music

The Fame Monster

book

none

movies

Max Payne, The Postman Always Rings Twice, Tale of Despereaux, Sunset Boulevard, Double Indemnity, Maltese Falcon, M. Butterfly, 21 Grams, New Moon, Repulsion, The Earrings of Madame de..., The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Music CD of the Month

The Fame Monster - Lady Gaga

Movie of the Month (tie)

Sunset Boulevard

Double Indemnity

(runner-up - Repulsion)

shoppers and heroes

Thanksgiving is the best time to shop. Milyon talaga ang dumagsa sa mga malls to take advantage of the sale. I missed the black friday madness. Kaya nung Sabado na lang ako naki-join.

Here's my loot:

a bagful of Mickeys (panregalo sa mga bagets this Christmas)

and 

John Adams DVD (di ko napanuod sa HBO kaya hahabulin ko na lang). From $56, I got it for only $19.99. 

At siempre pag nasa mall, wag kaligtaan ang... magpamasahe!

In the past days, I kinda feel that I'm having mini heart attack or mini-stroke. Mini lang naman. You know, chest pain, SOB, neck spasms, etc. Im done with the EKG and some labs. Ok naman. Kaya nagpamasahe ako sa mga chinese masseur sa mall. For reinforcement. Para dumaloy ang dugong stagnant.  

At nite, I caught the replay of CNN Heroes. At talagang napaiyak ako sa karamihan ng mga nominees. Im so inspired by these people -- they really found their place in the sun - and made a big difference. The ones that inspired me the most are: 1. Jorge Munoz (nagbibigay ng free meals  sa Queens) 2. Roy Foster (nagkakanlong ng mga homeless veterans) and of course, our very own, Efren Penaflorida, the pushcart educator. 

It doesn't really take much to be a hero. Everyday is an opportunity to help someone in need. But my hero still remains....

say "thanks"

It is Thanksgiving Day, the biggest holiday in America. It is that time of year when lavish feast and family reunion come in one sentence. Time to drop everything -- and catch up with family and friends while savoring turkey and pumpkin pie around the table. Merriment and laughter follow...

But not in apartment F.

I have no place to go. So dapat lungkot-lungkotan, di ba? Patugtugin mo pa ang old albums ni Norah Jones - and for sure you will feel suicidal. Rockmando texted me: wot u gonna today?

And I replied back: will think of u all day. 

Biatch.

Lumabas ako ng bahay to grab some food. May open kayang resto? Luckily, bukas lahat ng Pinoy restaurants in the Valley. I bought dinuguan and ube cake in Red Ribbon, siopao in Valerio's, spaghetti and chickenjoy in Jollibee, pancit canton in Chowking and sweet and sour whole fish in Annie's Panda. At least I don't have to think of what to eat. I only have to worry who's coming to dinner. Which in my last count is zero.

I'm supposed to be lonely. Like I-dont-want-to-live-I-want-to kill-myself lonely. I psyched myself up. What's your problem? Si Krista Ranillo ka ba para mag-emote ng ganyan? And that stopped my dramatics.

I ate while watching Roman Polanski's Repulsion. What a way to celebrate. In fairness, I felt better afterwards. I am not half as crazy as the main character. She looks normal outside but psycho inside. Gogo Yubari (of Kill Bill) can't hold a handle to that Carole character played by Catherine Deneuve.

After the movie, I decided to go to the gym but cancelled the plan. Ang corny naman - mag-gym ba on Thanksgiving! So deadma.